white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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