We named our party play list daddy issues
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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