would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
