so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
