Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
