I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
