Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
