I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
