I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize