I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
