I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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