You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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