She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
