True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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