if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
