Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
