Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize