I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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