just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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