Joe is yelling at the trees again.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize