that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
should my penis look like a turkey
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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