loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I fill condoms, not promises.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
