I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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