I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Randomize
