Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
