it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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