dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
