glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
