The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
