Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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