Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
