His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
