you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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