Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
