i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
