how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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