so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Randomize
