I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize