I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
