She's JV to your varsity
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
