two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
