Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
