this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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