I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
