ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
