I saw his package. It spoke to me.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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