She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
