Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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