i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
only you would photoshop your dick
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize