I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
