honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
