Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
