I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
found the other keg... it's in the tree
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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