I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize