I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
