can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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