Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
We need to get me chipped asap
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
