I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
