So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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