there was a trapeze. enough said
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
