Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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