we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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