Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
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