i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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