We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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