I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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