i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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