In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
