How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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